I Chose to WHAT?!
Hey all! I realize that I have neglected to provide an update on what is happening in my world. Almost every aspect of my life has changed in the past 6 months. I'm pleased to announce that I am changing my career and separating from the Air Force. As of the end of September I will exchange my ABU's for yoga pants and a t-shirt. That's right folks….after 14 years and 3 months, I am going to be a stay at home mommy!
There are many opinions of my decision -some supportive, some….not so supporrtive- but believe me I have heard it all! The best advice I got was to "do what was best for my family". My family and I considered all options but ultimately once we made our decision a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders and my family was able to press forward. If you too are stuck at the crossroads of re-enlisting or separating (voluntarily or not), do not take it lightly (of course)….but know that you may NEVER feel 100% sure of what is right or wrong. And keep in mind, even if it is YOUR career, this very important decision will impact the spouse and children. It wouldn't be a bad idea to include their thoughts/concerns….but I'm not telling you what to do!
This leads me to my next subject.
The following rule can be applied in most life situations….but somehow its forgotten when a member chooses to separate from the military…don't give unsolicited advice!! Of course you think that person is making a huge mistake! But guess what? It's their "mistake" to make. Whether you believe the military is a JOB or consider it a WAY OF LIFE, you are not wrong. People are ALLOWED to have their own opinion. In fact, the military embraces such thought, well according to the many mandated online training that we must complete (such as diversity training), they do. I heard an opinion and advice during every step of my out processing and *surprise* I never asked for it. Honestly, I didn't really care what they thought but I accepted it with a smile and a nod. I found this being the more time efficient approach. Veterans and Active Duty members are accustomed to telling people what to do. Accept it and go along your merry way. So what should you avoid saying to someone leaving the military?
Not all separations are voluntary so asking this questions may be a sore subject for the member. Even if the separation is voluntary, asking the question is pointless…obviously the individual DIDN'T want to work the additional years to make it to retirement. Asking this question does nothing but put doubt in the mind of a person who is going through a huge life change.
Before you finish this sentence stop yourself. You have no idea what the individual is going through. You do not know the big picture of what brought them to the decision they made. You do not know what their future plan is. You don't know!!! So why do you feel your suggestion will help or even apply? I cannot tell you how irritated I felt, when someone would utter these words. I wanted to scream "But you're not ME"!
Man, oh man. If you want to get someone's blood pressure up, mention that the person will regret it. Or mention that your uncle's cousin's mom's dog regrets it. You get the picture right? Who cares if you know someone who regrets separating? I have friends who regret separating instead of retiring….but I also have friends who have left and never looked back. Again, everyone is different.
Please don't think I am simply pro separation for everyone or bitter. I will never regret my time in the service. I am glad I enlisted 2 weeks after graduating from Yuma High School (Go Criminals). I have acquired skills for which I would have never, ever experienced if I wasn't a Surgical Technician. I am forever grateful that the Air Force has allowed me to travel around the country (plus overseas for one tour). Although I never deployed, I would have gladly gone! I kept myself up to speed on training and readiness...but was never sent. I know some individuals who have been sent 5 times and some who have retired with none. All careers are not the same but instead of deployments, mine consisted of PCSing to 5 different duty stations approximately every 3 years…and now it's time for me to settle down in Michigan….hang up my uniform and civilianize.
3 Things to Avoid Saying to Someone Leaving the Military
1) How long have you been in? You didn't want to work the [insert #] extra years to retire?
Not all separations are voluntary so asking this questions may be a sore subject for the member. Even if the separation is voluntary, asking the question is pointless…obviously the individual DIDN'T want to work the additional years to make it to retirement. Asking this question does nothing but put doubt in the mind of a person who is going through a huge life change.
2) If I were you, I would…..
Before you finish this sentence stop yourself. You have no idea what the individual is going through. You do not know the big picture of what brought them to the decision they made. You do not know what their future plan is. You don't know!!! So why do you feel your suggestion will help or even apply? I cannot tell you how irritated I felt, when someone would utter these words. I wanted to scream "But you're not ME"!3) You're going to regret it.
Man, oh man. If you want to get someone's blood pressure up, mention that the person will regret it. Or mention that your uncle's cousin's mom's dog regrets it. You get the picture right? Who cares if you know someone who regrets separating? I have friends who regret separating instead of retiring….but I also have friends who have left and never looked back. Again, everyone is different.
Please don't think I am simply pro separation for everyone or bitter. I will never regret my time in the service. I am glad I enlisted 2 weeks after graduating from Yuma High School (Go Criminals). I have acquired skills for which I would have never, ever experienced if I wasn't a Surgical Technician. I am forever grateful that the Air Force has allowed me to travel around the country (plus overseas for one tour). Although I never deployed, I would have gladly gone! I kept myself up to speed on training and readiness...but was never sent. I know some individuals who have been sent 5 times and some who have retired with none. All careers are not the same but instead of deployments, mine consisted of PCSing to 5 different duty stations approximately every 3 years…and now it's time for me to settle down in Michigan….hang up my uniform and civilianize.
I have a few additional military appropriate posts that I have been meaning to write. Keep checking! BTW, any ideas for a new blog name? Decisions. Decisions.
No comments:
Post a Comment